Halloween - Wear a costume or I pull soup Nazi on ya! No Candy for you!

Halloween, full of fun and kids dressing up trying to be cute and scary.

Not anymore. They come to your door with nothing on but a white T-Shirt and pants down below their ass and expect me to give them something. They don't even say "Trick or Treat" anymore. They just shove a Food Lion plastic bag at ya and tell you, "Gimme some candy." What the heck happened to this ghost and ghoul holiday? Well I intend to bring it back they way it was meant to be, mean and spiteful, and to make myself laugh at dolts that don't work the system correctly.

Now since I am in the middle of life, I have seen the disregard of our youth today with the attitude of give me the candy asshole or I scratch your car on my way past it to the next house. Sad, sad, sad. I have decided this year is the year I play Soup Nazi on them.

Here is how I see it going from now on at my house. I will wait for the ding-dong of my doorbell. I will then look out the window. If I see no costume, I will open the door and scream at them, NO CANDY FOR YOU!

I figure this will make most of the derelicts get off my porch and scare the hell outta them. But for the hard core teenagers that are way past the prime of trick or retreating, I doubt this will scare them off. But for the not so inclined, I have decided on Step 2.

This will encompass having the 2nd floor window open and ready to throw water balloons on the unsuspecting idiots that make the mistake of not wearing a costume to my house. I figure the next house they visit, they can say they are a house fire evacuee and that may gain them sympathy from one of the neighbors. I think I will have my video camera setup as well to film the actual idiots getting smacked with balloons. I figure this will make for great YouTube video moments in history.


Then for those that still don't have the intelligence to run away, I will move on to Step 3.


Enter the noise poppers, the kind that go "pop" when you throw them at the ground along with a couple of rubber snakes. My excuse to the cops will be I was shooting the snakes these fools threw at me! This should make for great fun at the expense of the unsuspecting idiots.

May they learn a lesson, just cause I ain't as young doesn't mean its not a hoot and holiday for me too! Oh to be a TP'ing, egging, fool on Halloween, the memories.....hehehhe